From the comment box below
Q: how do you view the process of writing poetry as beneficial to the life of you and your daughter?
A: The truth is that I really don't see or expect any very tangible benefit for either of us. My writing is driven almost entirely by a passion for making things, not because they're useful--in fact, the more utilitarian the project, the less interesting it seems--but because the thick of the creative process is where I like being. If I could spend 8 uninterrupted hours, 6 days/week engaged with a project and still have our lives run smoothly, I'd probably be one of the most contented people on the planet. (As it stands, between 2 part-time jobs, classes, coursework, parenting, and running a household, I get far less writing time than that.)
As for the less tangible, life is too brief to waste merely surviving. Writing poetry makes me feel alive in ways that making money and dinner don't. For my daughter, I want what every parent wants. To get her up on her own two feet so she can figure out what makes life seem worthwhile to her and do that.
I will ask, not because I like confrontation, but because it seems a necessary thing to note: if I were a married man with children, would you be asking me the same question?
Comments
Money and Dinner (not in that order) make me feel alive. Writing is a _bleeding_ process. You know how old-timey doctors of physick used to bleed patients? Leech here, leech there, incise over here.
Money, though, is good for buying foods. Foods are good for dinner preparation.
Posted by: Tony | November 15, 2007 01:31 PM
ginger, i appreciate the response. and while i can also appreciate the passion and buzz often associated with a productive writing session, please let me reframe the question: how will your current schooling help you and your daughter secure a better financial future?
Posted by: james s. | November 15, 2007 06:20 PM
Well, our financial present is already better than our financial past. I work at EPOCH and I do regular freelance writing, and between those two things I make more money than I did as a full-time Executive Assistant (or waitress or shoe store assistant manager or insurance program assistant). Based on income alone we're just barely lower middle class, which is a step up from the class I was born into. Moreover, my daughter lives on an Ivy League college campus and goes to a good school. The flexibility in my schedule allows her to play field hockey and participate in the school's theatre production, while the money I earn pays for private music lessons and a fair number of other little extras I didn't have growing up. All of which, I hope, will give her a broader sense of the possibilities for her life than I had as a teenager--that particular lack being the #1 reason I dropped out of high school after 10th grade and started waiting tables.
The future is a gamble. Maybe I'll get a teaching job after the MFA, and maybe I won't. Maybe I'll freelance full-time or maybe I'll get a certificate and teach high school. I can't know until I get there. The alternative, however, is what? Whoring myself to the corporate sphere 9 hours/day, praying my daughter doesn't get sick when my boss can't do without me, finding carpools for all her after school activities, or paying a sitter to shuttle her around? And when school's out for the summer, day camp that eats how much of my salary?
But if I had a spouse whose income matched my own exactly, we'd be firmly middle class.
Is this answering your question?
Posted by: Ginger Heatter | November 15, 2007 11:04 PM
Hey Tony! Yeah, you and I come at this from entirely different angles. I find money a pain in the ass to earn, and a pain in the ass to manage, and lately I just resent my body's hunger as another drain on my time. What scares me is that, so far, you're the better poet! You don't happen to know where I can purchase leeches online, do you? :-)
Posted by: Ginger Heatter | November 15, 2007 11:13 PM
yes, ginger, thanks, that gives me a better picture of your situation, and seems like you know what you're up against. the future is a gamble for everybody, but the odds of success are certainly decreased for people with less resources. you may be a person of little financial resources, but seem to have your head screwed on semi-straight, despite your occasional need for medication. your daughter probably adjusts very well to changes, and i'm glad to see she's doing sports and theater. i certainly believe that children need to be involved activities that challenge both the mind and the body, and give them a sense of a being a part of a team.
one last question, how are you paying for graduate school. you can't possibly afford cornell without a scholarship of some sort, right? and did you receive a scholarship for bc as well?
Posted by: james s | November 19, 2007 08:05 AM