Sunday Diary
The second-years are giving their final reading today. They must be even more shocked than I am at how quickly the MFA goes by. Most will stay on to finish their thesis this summer and teach next year, so it's largely a good excuse to celebrate, rather than a farewell. My fridge is packed with beer, wine, soda, and water to haul over to the old mansion for the reception afterward, which will likely be the antithesis of the stuffy nonsense I mentioned below.
Unfortunately, I'm going to miss the post-reception party, as parental duty calls. I have to drive down to PA to pick my daughter up. But even if I wasn't on the road, babysitters are hard to find this time of year--and expensive. At $10/hr, I was bound to miss the most interesting parts of the evening anyway.
That one-foot-in/one-foot-out is sort of characteristic of my experience here. Spring tends to throw a spotlight on it, I guess.
Even more than Eliot, I'm reminded of a line by Sarah Manguso: "The second-hardest thing I have to do is not be longing's slave."
I've been longing to be around other people more than I'm able, and longing to get out of this dull little apartment. Reluctantly, I just renewed my lease. It's a good deal, close to campus, etc. But I've been tempted to throw caution, convenience, and saving money to the wind in favor of a small country house with a private yard. Next year, perhaps.
As compared to last year, there's so much to be grateful for. So take that, longing! And though I still have some work to finish up before the term's officially over, I'm damn close. Then I'll have about a month off before I start teaching. Take that too.
